Worcester, the town which I call "home" whenever I'm talking to someone who doesn't have the faintest idea where Droitwich is, is currently suffering from a spate of traffic-related problems. It's like this every December. And January. And, to be fair, pretty much all of the months from February to November. You see, when the Romans decided to found a town on the banks of the Severn, they failed to anticipate that two thousand years later, the democratic systems they contributed to inventing would install the most incompetent bureaucrats ever to grace the planet to take up their seats on Worcester County Council.
I once emailed the council to complain about the 30 minute-long queues that were preventing everyone from travelling the 200 yards up the street necessary to leave the city centre, and politely demand that they do something about it. Shortly afterwards I received a reply:
Dear Sir:
We regret to inform you that we are unable to respond to your query at this time. Many of our councillors are stuck in traffic and unable to reach County Hall.
Yours faithfully,
N. Competence
It is a tragic situation that the dinosaurs in County Hall are unable to see the traffic problems that are causing everyone else to be late for work. It is an even more tragic situation that they have failed to see the logistical problems inherent in their plans for redevelopment in the New Year: to dig up Worcester Cathedral and move it to a more scenic location up London Road.
My own solution would be to build an extra bridge across the river, invest in a Park & Ride to the west and south of the city (we already have one in the north), and introduce congestion charging for the city centre. Unfortunately, intelligent opinions such as mine are in short supply in Worcester.
Revolutionary and congested regards,
Red Andy
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