Idea of the Week: #1

I received an email yesterday from one of my kind readers, which reminded me that it would be wise for me to keep this blog well updated, as he had fixed the sights of his overzealous RSS on this humble page. So, I decided I'd better think of something to blog about fairly consistently, lest I be "accidentally" bombarded with a friendly computer virus or something. The kind of people who can understand abbreviations such as "RSS" can do that sort of thing, you know.

So, what to write about on a regular basis? To be honest, the ideas weren't coming thick and fast. They were coming quite thinly, actually - and by no means fast. In fact, it was more of a sluggish crawl, which is like an ordinary crawl except that it is slower. And more slimy. Then, it struck me.

This is something that has been brewing for quite a while, usually as a consequence of conversations with Lloydy on the bus home from college on Thursday evenings. But now I can immortalise this concept electronically - in the form of a (hopefully) weekly update - allowing me not only to scan my own brilliance at leisure, but allowing the rest of you to enjoy it as well. Thus, I give you my new blogging concept: the Idea of the Week.

The essential plan is that I come up with a simple idea - that may, at first, sound like it was invented by something that may not have had opposable thumbs - and explain its sheer genius to you. Then, you can impress your friends with the idea (by passing it off as your own), or, if your conscience can't bear it, refer to this page once you've explained to your colleagues and the people you've accosted on the bus what a wonderful idea it actually is. Moreover, you can contact me with your own suggestions for Idea of the Week, and maybe even see them immortalised in a blog at some point along the line.

Now that all of that is cleared up, on with our first ever Idea of the Week:

THE EDIBLE HAT

Maybe you're stuck in a lift, with no food, no water, and only a balding, sweaty oaf with a briefcase full of decidedly non-delicious tax return forms for company. Maybe you're on the move and in need of a quick snack. Maybe you've accidentally entered the lair of a mysterious race, to whom the covering of the head is a capital offence, and forgotten to remove your hat. We've all been in situations like this, and how many times have you observed a vexing situation, sighed, shaken your head sadly and said to yourself, "I could really use an edible hat right now,"?

Well, none, of course, because then you'd have come up with the idea yourself, wouldn't you? But the rest of the opening paragraph holds true. The point is, the edible hat is not just something society wants; it is something society needs.

Consider world hunger. Many of those who are starving are those who spend hours upon end on a plantation, boiling in the sweltering heat and picking raisins in the hope that the rocks they are paid in will be exchangable somewhere for enough food to feed their family. Clearly, the heat and humidity is bad for their work ethic. Unhappy workers are unproductive workers, and unproductive workers are fired workers. And fired workers, pretty soon, are dead workers. So something that could stave off at least some of the uncomfortable climatic conditions would untwist this vicious spiral. Something like a hat.

But not just an ordinary hat: oh no. Why not kill two birds with one stone, and make that hat not only a useful shade against the blistering heat, but a well-deserved snack at the end of a long day's picking? An International Edible Hat Fund, used to supply sufficient hats to the poor of the world, could solve world hunger, and increase the productivity of Third World plantations, all in a single stroke!

There are many other benefits to the edible hat, of course, but there are far too many for me to bother with typing about here. So, in short, invest in the edible hat today for a better tomorrow.

You know you want to.

Revolutionary and, quite frankly, ingenious regards,

Red Andy